Vettel confirms 4th title turns you into dickhead
Sebastian Vettel has confirmed that winning a 4th F1 title is the tipping point towards full-on bellendery. (more…)
Hamilton 2016 unreliability championship loss narrative tour continues
Lewis Hamilton’s expedition to find the last group of people on Earth still unaware the Englishman lost the 2016 F1 drivers World Championship because of reliability issues is still ongoing. (more…)
“Whatever,” says Rosberg
Lewis Hamilton’s faint praise damnation of Nico Rosberg’s retirement announcement has been met with the universally acknowledged sign of total indifference. (more…)
Whatever happens, I will still be World Champion of bellends says Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton doesn’t care what happens in the climax of the drivers’ championship as he will still be F1’s undisputed number 1 cockwand come the end of it. (more…)
Rosberg-inspired Marvel superhero to always turn up too late to save the day
Marvel comics are to create a Nico Rosberg inspired character blessed with super powers but appalling punctuality. (more…)
Hamilton purchases magnanimous insurance face
Lewis Hamilton is getting a spare face with a magnanimous expression made in case he loses the F1 World Drivers title to Nico Rosberg. (more…)
Vettel titles downgraded to junk status
Credit rating agency Standard and Poor's have downgraded Sebastian Vettel's world titles to 'junk' status. The high finance twats announced the re-assessment following the German's latest, ongoing humbling at the…
Yes but I’m French, says Prost
4-time World Formula 1 Driver’s Champion Alain Prost has pointed out that, unlike Sebastian Vettel he had to win his titles as a Frenchman. “The Professor” was speaking following the…
Drivers fighting for Not-Second
The word for second has had to be changed so all the F1 drivers don’t have to admit that’s all they now have to live for. Top F1 driver, Fernando…
4th Vettel title to be that one he can’t quite remember
Sebastian Vettel’s 4th world driver’s championship is going to be the one he’ll struggle to recall at future dinner parties. The 26 year old spent the beginning of the season…
Ferrari to build Terminator
Ferrari are to concentrate their resources on building a Terminator like out of the films. Having finished scraping the world's final barrel, the Italian team have decided the best chance lead…
Alonso basically Obi Wan Kenobi
Fernando Alonso is basically Obi Wan Kenobi out of Star Wars, everyone has agreed. (more…)
World Championship just this not very important, stupid thing, say non-Red Bull teams
Shrugsville: Who cares about the Formula 1 World Championship? all the teams that aren’t Red Bull just said, writes our meh correspondent, Jim Whatever. Arriving at the new Indian Buddh…
Button title push, “based on this trick Derren Brown told me”
Jenson Button’s 2011 driver’s title will amaze you even more than Robbie Williams singing a nursery rhyme whilst a conjurer inserts needles into his arms. (more…)
Timo Glock wins 2010 fans’ drivers’ championship
Sharm el Shake n’ Vac: As the 2010 F1 World Drivers’ Championship concluded in Abu Dhabi with an emotional victory for soft toy German Sebastian Vettel, the various dissatisfying claims…
Button speed linked to World Driver’s championship, claims analyst
Jenson Button’s recent demonstration of an ability to drive his Mclaren faster than his team mate Lewis Hamilton could be connected to a similar aptitude that saw the driver from Frome win the 2009 world championship
Emergency exciting GP rolled out following WDC narcolepsy fears
Fears that Jenson Button’s crawl to the world F1 driver’s championship would result in the mass unconsciousness of its target audience prompted the rolling out of a hitherto secret “exciting Grand Prix blueprint” for this year’s Brazilian event