Gasly now worst at driving
Pierre Gasly is now worst at driving everyone has agreed. (more…)
Opportunity to properly ruin Hartley too good to turn down, says Marko
Helmut Marko has jumped at the chance of properly burying Brendon Hartley’s career by hiring him to drive the 2018 Toro Rosso-Honda. (more…)
Kvyat still deciding whether to cry on the outside
Daniil Kvyat is trying to decide if he can blub in front of everyone now rather than just keep holding it in. (more…)
Verstappen still not come down for his tea
Max Verstappen has yet to come down for his tea even though his team have been calling and calling him for half a fucking hour. (more…)
Renault still honing perfect engine blow-up
Renault is still trying to perfect the ultimate F1 engine self-destruct aesthetic and isn’t going to stop until it gets there, the company has revealed. (more…)
Toro Rosso basically just wanting to hang out with Carlos Sainz at weekends
Toro Rosso have hired Carlos Sainz jnr so they get to hang out with his cool dad. The Tesco Value Red Bull team announced the appointment alongside their new recruit…
Russians convinced Toro Rosso actually football team
Daniil Kvyat’s signing for Toro Rosso has been thrown into confusion when it was revealed his Russian backers thought they were buying Tottenham Hotspur. The 19 year old was a…
Toro Rosso growing future drivers from seed
Toro Rosso are to recruit their drivers from a petri dish. Head of Red Bull’s Tesco Value F1 outfit, Franz Tost was speaking ahead of a 2013 season in which…
Fight for Red Bull seat to be Frozen Planet Sequel
The ruthless, bloody fight to the death for Mark Webber’s Red Bull seat is to be filmed by the BBC’s Natural History Unit. Ever since the tortured careers of Scot…
Bourdais farewell triggers vague memories he was driving this year
Jet plane: Tuesday’s announcement by top fizzy drink peddling motorized billboard Toro Rosso that their driver, Sebastian Bourdais was to be replaced was met with a mixture of mild befuddlement…
Toro Rosso: yet another fucking team for sale, for Christ’s sake
Todmorden Car Boot Sale: Providers and consumers of low-brow F1 chintz were today united in sartorially-challenged despair at the news that yet another F1 Team was up for sale, it…