Sebastian Vettel Archives - pitflaps.co.uk

Ferrari Social Distancing Latest

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 15, 2020
Post Category:In Pictures

Ferrari Social Distancing Latest

Ferrari start panto season early

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 20, 2019
Post Category:In Pictures

Ferrari start panto season early

Schumacher career emulation probably gone too far, admits Vettel

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 9, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has admitted his attempt to emulate former mentor and hero Michael Schumacher has overstepped the mark.

German sporting catastrophe synchronisation most efficient in world, exclaims nation

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 20, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has managed to successfully synchronise German sporting failure by perfectly aligning his own metaphorical and literal car crash with that of his nation’s colossally embarrassing football team. (more…)

Germans still bloody win at things go British GP fans

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 10, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

British Grand Prix fans were dismayed to learn that you can only laugh at the Germans for about 10 minutes before they piss all over you in humiliating fashion. (more…)

Vettel confirms 4th title turns you into dickhead

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 2, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has confirmed that winning a 4th F1 title is the tipping point towards full-on bellendery. (more…)

Vettel very sorry for making FIA look hypocritical

Post author:Ed
Post published:June 28, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has apologized for putting the FIA into the impossible position of having to choose between their own integrity or money. (more…)

Ferrari team order conspiracy theory reaction

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 28, 2017
Post Category:In Pictures

F1 working group to make abuse mandatory

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 13, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

The F1 technical working group is considering introducing a mandatory driver swearing period for each race from 2017. (more…)

Whiting still thinking about fucking himself

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 31, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

Charlie Whiting is still thinking about whether he should go fuck himself. (more…)

Fuck off out of our seas then, seagulls tell Vettel

Post author:Ed
Post published:June 13, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

Seagulls have told Sebastian Vettel they won’t land on his poxy track so long as he keeps out of their fucking sea. (more…)

Just a metaphor to show why invading Germany bad idea, Kvyat explains

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 3, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

Daniil Kvyat took the opportunity to show Vladimir Putin in person why invading a Western European country just won’t work like it did in Ukraine and the Crimea. And Georgia. And Chechnya. And Syria. (more…)

Vettel-haters confused by Malaysia feelings

Post author:Ed
Post published:April 3, 2015
Post Category:Formula 1

F1 fans brought up on a sequence of tedious Vettel triumphs have been confused by spontaneous feelings of apparent affection towards the German driver. (more…)

Vettel hands back 2012 title

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 2, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1

After driving the 2012 F1 Ferrari, Sebastian Vettel has handed back his World Driver's title for that season. The apparently legitimate 4-time driver's champion made the donation after undergoing his…

Being beaten by Australian most humiliating thing imaginable, say scientists

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 26, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1

Getting beaten by an Australian at anything at all is literally the worst thing that can happen to you. Scientists made the breakthrough when studying Sebastian Vettel's decision to throw…

Vettel titles downgraded to junk status

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 13, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1
Post Comments:0 Comments

Credit rating agency Standard and Poor's have downgraded Sebastian Vettel's world titles to 'junk' status. The high finance twats announced the re-assessment following the German's latest, ongoing humbling at the…

Vettel dad to take on Alonso dad

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 8, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1
Post Comments:0 Comments

Sebastian Vettel's dad is going to beat up Fernando Alonso's dad, it's been revealed. The quadruple champion announced the match up on Twitter after he'd just about had enough of…

Vettel finger caught moonlighting

Post author:Ed
Post published:June 10, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1
Post Comments:0 Comments

Sebastian Vettel's finger has been doing odd jobs since being made redundant at the end of 2013. The 4-time world champion index finger was caught alongside the German's equally decorated…

Shaman demands Mark Webber refund refund

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 31, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1
Post Comments:0 Comments

A Haitian shaman who sold Mark Webber a Vettel voodoo figurine is demanding his money back claiming promised bad luck was delayed by Black Magic forces beyond his control. The Antipodean…

Red Bull confirm Vettel technical fault

Post author:Ed
Post published:April 27, 2014
Post Category:Formula 1
Post Comments:0 Comments

Red Bull have confirmed there may be an engineering fault with their Vettel Uberfahren Schnellste 3.0 model. (more…)