Lewis Hamilton Archives - pitflaps.co.uk

Hamilton discovers Guardian

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 25, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has just accidentally found the Guardian website or been given a subscription or something, people have concluded.

Hamilton knighthood snub explained

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 28, 2019
Post Category:In Pictures

Hamilton knighthood snub revealed

Hamilton still not opening Rosberg Christmas cards

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 23, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has confirmed that Nico Rosberg's 2019 Christmas card went the same way as the previous 3: straight into the #44 stencilled recycling bin.

Bottas not the type of competitor who won’t let me win, says Hamilton

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 8, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

is Hamilton has once again praised team-mate Valtteri Bottas for not being Nico Rosberg: the dastardly German who wouldn't let Lewis win all the time.

Hamilton confirms provisional superhero licence

Post author:Ed
Post published:February 5, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has confirmed he has the first part of his superhero licence now he can 'fly'.

Stevenage: improved a hell of a lot since about 2008, says provincial town

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 22, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Stevenage claims it’s really not all that bad especially since Lewis Hamilton left. (more…)

Hamilton-stopping strategy finally found

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 30, 2018
Post Category:In Pictures

Mercedes to double-down on conspiracy theory department

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 12, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

The Mercedes team are to redouble their conspiracy theory efforts after their Ferrari-are-sending-out-Kimi-to-crash-into-us plot was immediately held up to ridicule. (more…)

James Vowles apologizes for Sherzinger break up

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 4, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Mercedes‘ tacticul guru, James Vowles has apologized to Lewis Hamilton for inadvertently causing his 6 year old break-up with glamorous yoghurt saleswoman, Nicole Scherzinger. (more…)

Vettel confirms 4th title turns you into dickhead

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 2, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has confirmed that winning a 4th F1 title is the tipping point towards full-on bellendery. (more…)

Fastest men in the world really digging each other’s product endorsements

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 22, 2017
Post Category:In Pictures

Mercedes to deploy Hamilton poetry at championship finale

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 3, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Mercedes aren’t scared to use Lewis Hamilton’s poetry against Ferrari in a championship showdown the team have announced. (more…)

Vettel very sorry for making FIA look hypocritical

Post author:Ed
Post published:June 28, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has apologized for putting the FIA into the impossible position of having to choose between their own integrity or money. (more…)

Hamilton presented with massive metaphor

Post author:Ed
Post published:June 10, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton was presented with a replica – or “fake version” of one of Ayrton Senna’s helmets to remind the Englishman what the family thought of his “record-breaking” pole position at Montreal. (more…)

Bottas not figured out Hamilton’s a twat yet

Post author:Ed
Post published:February 28, 2017
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has not revealed his more twattish elements to new team-mate Valtteri Bottas yet and so the pair of them are getting along like a house on fire. (more…)

Most popular Hamilton helmet design revealed

Post author:Ed
Post published:January 31, 2017
Post Category:In Pictures

Hamilton 2016 unreliability championship loss narrative tour continues

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 24, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton’s expedition to find the last group of people on Earth still unaware the Englishman lost the 2016 F1 drivers World Championship because of reliability issues is still ongoing. (more…)

“Whatever,” says Rosberg

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 4, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton’s faint praise damnation of Nico Rosberg’s retirement announcement has been met with the universally acknowledged sign of total indifference. (more…)

Whatever happens, I will still be World Champion of bellends says Hamilton

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 23, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton doesn’t care what happens in the climax of the drivers’ championship as he will still be F1’s undisputed number 1 cockwand come the end of it. (more…)

God sub-contracting Lewis mechanical failures

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 15, 2016
Post Category:Formula 1

God has confirmed he’s delegated Lewis Hamilton’s breakdowns to a junior deity previously working in parks and recreation. (more…)