Fernando Alonso has told the F1 world not to be sad he’s gone because he’s definitely not going to miss them. (more…)
Medical researchers have claimed that the Fernando Alonso virus has finally been defeated.
Fernando Alonso wonders if the racing Gods have taken a break from trying to break his spirit and are now just taking the piss out of him. (more…)
Fernando Alonso is already boring the shit out of anyone he comes in contact with by yelling, “I told you so” at them. (more…)
Honda have confirmed that Fernando Alonso will never escape their ineptitude no matter where he hides. (more…)
Fernando Alonso has got a craving for grits and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. (more…)
Ron Dennis has admitted he never forgave Fernando Alonso for their toxic falling out in 2007 and re-signing the Spaniard was the greatest revenge he could have imagined. (more…)
Fernando Alonso is still driving for Mclaren because he’s getting sponsored for it and it’s marginally more pleasurable than sitting in a cold tub of baked beans. (more…)
Fernando Alonso‘s Mclaren is going to have a crack at his legs next having already concussed, electrocuted and smashed the fucker in his stupid, Spanish chest. (more…)
A GP2 engine is en route to Fernando Alonso’s house because it doesn’t take that sort of shit from anyone. (more…)
Fernando Alonso is responsible for everything bad and wrong in the world. (more…)
Jenson Button wants to try whatever is making Alonso forget the Mclaren they’ve both driven. (more…)
Fernando Alonso has told his new team’s 2015 F1 challenger it’s him; not the Mclaren MP4-30. (more…)
Mclaren's spending on obfuscation, deception and outright horseshittery is beginning to pay dividends, say experts. The shiny silver perenial underachievers have compounded somehow luring a major manufacturer to drag their…
Maintaining a beard for an entire season at Mclaren is Fernando Alonso's final and most important motorsports challenge, their newest recruit has insisted. Sporting the full on D'Artagnan or, "semi-Roy…
