You don’t get it: I’m just much better than this says Alonso
Fernando Alonso has told the F1 world not to be sad he’s gone because he’s definitely not going to miss them. (more…)
Alonso virus finally dead, proclaim researchers
Medical researchers have claimed that the Fernando Alonso virus has finally been defeated.
“Are racing Gods taking the piss out of me?” asks 13th placed Alonso
Fernando Alonso wonders if the racing Gods have taken a break from trying to break his spirit and are now just taking the piss out of him. (more…)
Alonso spending rest of 2017 going “I told you so”
Fernando Alonso is already boring the shit out of anyone he comes in contact with by yelling, “I told you so” at them. (more…)
Honda confirms Alonso curse
Honda have confirmed that Fernando Alonso will never escape their ineptitude no matter where he hides. (more…)
Alonso craving grits
Fernando Alonso has got a craving for grits and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. (more…)
Revenge a dish best served cold, admits Dennis
Ron Dennis has admitted he never forgave Fernando Alonso for their toxic falling out in 2007 and re-signing the Spaniard was the greatest revenge he could have imagined. (more…)
Because this is easier than sitting in a bathtub of beans, Alonso admits
Fernando Alonso is still driving for Mclaren because he’s getting sponsored for it and it’s marginally more pleasurable than sitting in a cold tub of baked beans. (more…)
Mclaren still trying to kill Alonso
Fernando Alonso‘s Mclaren is going to have a crack at his legs next having already concussed, electrocuted and smashed the fucker in his stupid, Spanish chest. (more…)
GP2 engine to “have words” with Alonso
A GP2 engine is en route to Fernando Alonso’s house because it doesn’t take that sort of shit from anyone. (more…)
Alonso reason everything is wrong
Fernando Alonso is responsible for everything bad and wrong in the world. (more…)
Button wants what Alonso’s having
Jenson Button wants to try whatever is making Alonso forget the Mclaren they’ve both driven. (more…)
Not you, it’s me says Alonso
Fernando Alonso has told his new team’s 2015 F1 challenger it’s him; not the Mclaren MP4-30. (more…)
Mclaren bullshit investment paying off
Mclaren's spending on obfuscation, deception and outright horseshittery is beginning to pay dividends, say experts. The shiny silver perenial underachievers have compounded somehow luring a major manufacturer to drag their…
Mclaren beard maintenance final F1 career challenge, insists Alonso
Maintaining a beard for an entire season at Mclaren is Fernando Alonso's final and most important motorsports challenge, their newest recruit has insisted. Sporting the full on D'Artagnan or, "semi-Roy…