Ricciardo wakes up from summer break trying to remember what the fuck he’s done
Daniel Ricciardo spent the summer break off his tits on so many different drugs he’s pretty certain he did something really stupid but can’t remember what exactly.
Ricciardo shoes say thank fuck for that
Daniel Ricciardo’s shoes are massively relieved after their wearer’s 3rd place position was only rewarded once the Mexican Grand Prix’s podium ceremony had finished. (more…)
Webber finally expunges Valencia terror
Mark Webber has finally erased the terrifying memories of his Valencia 2010 crash by replacing it with the even scarier memory of drinking champagne from Daniel Ricciardo’s shoe. (more…)
Hamilton karmic victory sparks karma resignation
Lewis Hamilton’s karmic Monaco victory, 12 months after losing it in similar circumstances has prompted the metaphysical Asian principle of cause and effect to resign. (more…)
Being beaten by Australian most humiliating thing imaginable, say scientists
Getting beaten by an Australian at anything at all is literally the worst thing that can happen to you. Scientists made the breakthrough when studying Sebastian Vettel's decision to throw…
Ricciardo won some races, apparently
Some of the 2014 F1 races have been won by Daniel Ricciardo in a Red Bull, it's been revealed. The 25 year old Antipodean crossed the finish line before anyone…
Webber shit
Mark Webber was shit all along, it's been revealed. In addition, Sebastian Vettel probably doesn't even deserve 1 world title, let alone 4 and Adrian Newey was grown from a…
Red Bull Racing possessed by Aboriginal spirits
The Red Bull Racing Formula 1 team is possessed by the spirit of Karora, a creator God from Aboriginal mythology. Daniel Ricciardo’s 2nd straight catastrophic race after being disqualified from…
Ricciardo: always thank Red Bull for being able to make these gullible idiots think I earned this
Daniel Ricciardo has thanked his Red Bull team for allowing him to pretend that he deserved to stand on a wooden plinth and wave at several hundred briefly elated fellow…
Webber demands continuing Australian sports humiliation
Mark Webber says Daniel Ricciardo has all the necessary attributes to carry on his role of humiliating Australian sporting prowess. The soon to be ex-Red Bull driver said years of…
Toro Rosso growing future drivers from seed
Toro Rosso are to recruit their drivers from a petri dish. Head of Red Bull’s Tesco Value F1 outfit, Franz Tost was speaking ahead of a 2013 season in which…