Channel 4 not seen F1 before
Channel 4 have bid for the rights to show F1 without ever having seen a race. (more…)
Male teenage F1 fans terrified 2016 wank now exclusively Pinkham-based
After the BBC’s shock exit, British boys are coming to terms with the possibility the sole focus of their F1 onanism is now Sky Sports’ Natalie Pinkham. (more…)
Pay-per-View F1 monster, “unstoppable” say experts
Somerfield: A 150 foot tall fire-breathing monster is demanding people pay for their F1 coverage or it will crush every living thing in its path, writes our subductive-induced prehistoric leviathan…
“Stop selling me all this shit!” fans petition F1 bosses
Jim Rosenthal’s booth: Fans’ hysterical reaction to F1 coverage moving to a commercial broadcaster reflects an inability to move for all this pointless electronic shit they’ve got already, writes our…
BBC worryingly short of back-up pricks
Broadcasting House: Coverage of the Chinese Grand Prix weekend was worryingly devoid of the fuckwit pundits normally hired by the corporation to annoy and harass its audience, writes our media…
BBC coverage cancel threat sparks nationwide Blundell panic
White City: The BBC has started to wonder who the bloody hell is going to pay for all this sodding F1 coverage it couldn’t really afford in the first place,…
BBC audience irritation experiment ends
Job Centre: The BBC look to have finally ended their experiment of deliberately testing the patience of viewers of their F1 coverage by sacking chief agitator Jonathan Legard, writes our…
Onscreen gaffes spoiling habitual Lee McKenzie wank
Upstairs bathroom, door locked: Lee McKenzie ’s Japanese Grand Prix BBC anchor debut ruined the otherwise pleasurable bout of female presenter-fulled onanism normally indulged in by thousands of British teenage…
BBC hail corporation equality with promotion of “right bit of crumpet” to talking and smiling at drivers job
Carry on Driving: Feminists, Trotskyists and lezzers were celebrating last night when the BBC announced that this cracking piece of skirt would be allowed to flash her charlies and pins…
Volcanic Vexation Beeb Bother – top 5 things corporation thought about replacing Eddie Jordan with:
i-Phone bullshit app Articulated lorry reversing klaxon Dead air, (as opposed to deliberately murdered) CIA Al Quaida interrogation mix-tape Unusually ignorant, argumentative panda
Scientists predict “BBC Ask Eddie Jordan” column to be most pointless thing in universe
Launching their coverage for the F1 2010 season, the BBC’s new “Ask Eddie Jordan” column has sparked controversy and comment amongst the science community thanks to its utterly futile reasoning. (more…)
BBC experiment with Eddie Jordan white noise replacement
Despite widespread praise of their in depth F1 coverage, the BBC are said to be considering the replacement of ex-team owner and professional Irish buffoon, Eddie Jordan with background squall in an attempt to up ratings or possibly lower suicides amongst F1 fans in the UK.
Ad-free F1 raises Andrex sales downturn fears
Movers and shakers in the world of fast moving consumer goods were concerned last night following the publication of market research analysis suggesting significant retail sales drops in the new BBC ad-free F1 era.
Sports Personality runners-up rage sparks Hamilton medals endorsement
Bernie Ecclestone’s recent proposal of a medals system to replace the current F1 scoring system last night received an unexpected endorsement from the new World Champion, Lewis Hamilton following yet another 2nd place finish in the annual oxymoronic BBC sports-shindig.