Team:

Haas

Nationality:

Danish

Born:

1992 (age 25)

Profile:

Suddenly drowning in a sea of talent flusher and younger than himself, Magnussen decided - rather than thank his lucky stars he'd fallen on his feet at Haas after underwhelming at Renault - to refashion his USP as the Danish Pastor Maldonado. Knuckle dragging himself into confrontations with the likes of Hulkenberg, Kvyat and Verstappen allowed the 25 year old veteran at once to usurp the by now festering son-of-a-racing-driver, most-brilliant-of-his-generation identity and place himself instead at the epicentre of micro-dick inspired elbows out racing fuckwittery. Ensconced at metaphorically handy middle-of-the-road tuggers Haas, Kevin will no doubt launch himself with gusto both at 2018 and his fellow competitors, wary the 14 Danish followers of F1 may not be enough to fund his future career but a WWF F1 spinoff mightbe. Or the British Touring Car Championship, if you'd rather.

Close Menu