Pitflaps

Bottas comeback ends

Post author:Ed
Post published:April 6, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Valtteri Bottas’ comeback has ended after a record single race. (more…)

F1 fans sick of experts

Post author:Ed
Post published:March 14, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

F1 fans are sick of experts telling them there could be an F1 title fight when that is clearly abject bollocks. (more…)

This year’s collapse will be something else, say Ferrari watchers

Post author:Ed
Post published:February 28, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari’s capitulation of the 2019 drivers’ and constructors championships is going to be an absolute doozy, everyone has concluded. (more…)

Hamilton confirms provisional superhero licence

Post author:Ed
Post published:February 5, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has confirmed he has the first part of his superhero licence now he can 'fly'.

FOM to mostly show porn in 2019

Post author:Ed
Post published:January 25, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

FOM will mostly be showing pornography during the 2019 F1 season. (more…)

Scientists still struggling with Haas driver selection

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 28, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Experts are still scratching their heads over Haas' decision to retain both its drivers for 2019.

Stevenage: improved a hell of a lot since about 2008, says provincial town

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 22, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Stevenage claims it’s really not all that bad especially since Lewis Hamilton left. (more…)

Raikkonen drunk performance ranked 3rd most enjoyable 2018 Grands Prix

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 15, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Kimi Raikkonen’s drunken antics at the recent FIA prize-giving ceremony has been voted more entertaining than most of the 2018 Grand Prix he competed in. (more…)

You don’t get it: I’m just much better than this says Alonso

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 28, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Fernando Alonso has told the F1 world not to be sad he’s gone because he’s definitely not going to miss them. (more…)

Ocon in FA Cup confusion

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 19, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Esteban Ocon has mistakenly conflated his actions crashing into Max Verstappen with that of a lower league side knocking out a Premier League one in the FA Cup. (more…)

Jos Verstappen finally proud of Max

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 15, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Jos Verstappen has grudgingly given in to the hype around his son but only now the 20 year old has physically confronted his fellow competitors. (more…)

German sporting catastrophe synchronisation most efficient in world, exclaims nation

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 20, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has managed to successfully synchronise German sporting failure by perfectly aligning his own metaphorical and literal car crash with that of his nation’s colossally embarrassing football team. (more…)

Yeah but we’ve got your soul, Williams tell Russell

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 12, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Williams aren’t asking George Russell for millions of pounds but do own his soul for perpetuity, the Grove team have confirmed. (more…)

Ferrari eclipse Brexit fuckwittery

Post author:Ed
Post published:October 9, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari are now the stupidest thing on the planet including Brexit, everyone’s agreed. (more…)

Woop-dee-fucking-do say British F1 TV audiences

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 14, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

UK F1 fans without a Sky subscription are thanking their lucky stars they get to see their favourite sport next year 4 hours after it happened for half the running time it actually took. (more…)

Raikkonen 2008 form finally turns up

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 5, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

The form that would have helped Kimi Raikkonen to the 2008 World Title has finally turned up. (more…)

That’s it then is it? asks Vandoorne

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 30, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Stoffel Vandoorne has asked if that’s basically his motorsports career and what the fuck was the point of any of it? (more…)

Ricciardo wakes up from summer break trying to remember what the fuck he’s done

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 22, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo spent the summer break off his tits on so many different drugs he’s pretty certain he did something really stupid but can’t remember what exactly.

(more…)

Alonso virus finally dead, proclaim researchers

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 16, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Medical researchers have claimed that the Fernando Alonso virus has finally been defeated.

Could we have a different Indian patriot please? say Indians

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 9, 2018
Post Category:Formula 1

Indians were asking if they could have an alternative billionaire patriot to the Vijay Mallya one they’d been given as he’s basically gone and done the opposite of what one of those is supposed to do. (more…)