Formula 1

Bloke who honestly nearly bought Jaguar in 2000’s son now really thinking about buying Aston Martin

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:April 7, 2021
• Post Category:Formula 1

Following the successful airbrushing of a previously bright pink Jordan-Midland-Spyker-Force India-Racing Point, former Aston-agnostics have gone apoplectic for the brand and are clamouring to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds they never knew they had on the famous marque.

Continue Reading Bloke who honestly nearly bought Jaguar in 2000’s son now really thinking about buying Aston Martin

Hamilton discovers Guardian

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:November 25, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has just accidentally found the Guardian website or been given a subscription or something, people have concluded.

Continue Reading Hamilton discovers Guardian

Hades F1 bid shaping up nicely, claims Beelzebub

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:November 6, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

Satan has declared his bid to host a 2021 F1 race round the tortuous blood-soaked caverns of Hades to be on track following discussions with the sport's owners, Liberty Media.

Continue Reading Hades F1 bid shaping up nicely, claims Beelzebub

Look at how brilliant Ferrari were at cheating though, says Binotto

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:August 30, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari chief-for-now, Mattia Binotto has pointed out amidst their disintegrating season that Ferrari were world champions at cheating, barely 12 months ago.

Continue Reading Look at how brilliant Ferrari were at cheating though, says Binotto

Alonso hoping he didn’t do something stupid after downing that bottle of tequila

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:July 16, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

Fernando Alonso, waking up with a screaming hangover and no memory of the previous evening is praying he hasn't done something really, really stupid.

Continue Reading Alonso hoping he didn’t do something stupid after downing that bottle of tequila

Man with Silverstone tickets thanks the Lord

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:May 18, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

The father of 2 young children who had promised to take his family to Silverstone this year, punched the air upon hearing there wouldn't be spectators at this year's event.

Continue Reading Man with Silverstone tickets thanks the Lord

Well, that's the end of this suit!

Verstappen absence wards off F1 toilet paper panic

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:April 25, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

Max Verstappen's absence from the Grand Prix circuits has helped ward off mounting toilet paper panic, F1 chiefs have confirmed.

Continue Reading Verstappen absence wards off F1 toilet paper panic

Hulkenberg terrified of Medusa Touch

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:April 12, 2020
• Post Category:Formula 1

Nico Hulkenberg is terrified he has created the Coronavirus epidemic out of his own vengeful mind.

Continue Reading Hulkenberg terrified of Medusa Touch

Hamilton still not opening Rosberg Christmas cards

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:December 23, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has confirmed that Nico Rosberg's 2019 Christmas card went the same way as the previous 3: straight into the #44 stencilled recycling bin.

Continue Reading Hamilton still not opening Rosberg Christmas cards

Turned off my targeting computer, admits Leclerc

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:September 15, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Charles Leclerc has apologised for turning off his targeting computer whilst defending the lead from Lewis Hamilton at Sunday's Italian Grand Prix.

Continue Reading Turned off my targeting computer, admits Leclerc

Schumacher career emulation probably gone too far, admits Vettel

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:September 9, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has admitted his attempt to emulate former mentor and hero Michael Schumacher has overstepped the mark.

Continue Reading Schumacher career emulation probably gone too far, admits Vettel

Albon grateful for Mayfly F1 career opportunity

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:August 22, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Alex Albon has thanked Red Bull for being given the opportunity to have his F1 career condensed to that of a Mayfly.

Continue Reading Albon grateful for Mayfly F1 career opportunity

That’s Red Bull Wang!!!!

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:August 14, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Red Bull have sent the bloke from their first team back to the second team they hired it from, joining the other bloke they'd done the same thing to in…

Continue Reading That’s Red Bull Wang!!!!

Haas 5-year plan to get worse

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:August 4, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

as' 5 year F1 plan was to turn into the clusterfuck team everyone thought they would be when they first turned a wheel at Melbourne in 2016.

Continue Reading Haas 5-year plan to get worse

Heightened F1 excitement still no match for cricket

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:July 20, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

2 Grand Prix in a row featuring nail-biting excitement can't shift the reality F1 is less exciting than cricket, say experts.

Continue Reading Heightened F1 excitement still no match for cricket

F1 now Schroedingers Cat

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:July 12, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

F1 has now moved into the quantum realm, scientists have confirmed.

Continue Reading F1 now Schroedingers Cat

Booing this particular podium perfectly alright, say Ferrari

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:June 13, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari have insisted booing the 2019 Canadian Grand Prix podium was perfectly acceptable unlike on previous occasions when it wasn't.

Continue Reading Booing this particular podium perfectly alright, say Ferrari

Ferrari insist everyone come down to their level

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:May 20, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari have asked if everyone couldn't come down to their level of absolute omnishambles.

Continue Reading Ferrari insist everyone come down to their level

Bottas not the type of competitor who won’t let me win, says Hamilton

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:May 8, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

is Hamilton has once again praised team-mate Valtteri Bottas for not being Nico Rosberg: the dastardly German who wouldn't let Lewis win all the time.

Continue Reading Bottas not the type of competitor who won’t let me win, says Hamilton

Leclerc sorry for being good

• Post author:Ed
• Post published:April 28, 2019
• Post Category:Formula 1

Charles Leclerc has apologised to his Ferrari team for being so fast.

Continue Reading Leclerc sorry for being good