Pitflaps

Hamilton discovers Guardian

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 25, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has just accidentally found the Guardian website or been given a subscription or something, people have concluded.

Hades F1 bid shaping up nicely, claims Beelzebub

Post author:Ed
Post published:November 6, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Satan has declared his bid to host a 2021 F1 race round the tortuous blood-soaked caverns of Hades to be on track following discussions with the sport's owners, Liberty Media.

Look at how brilliant Ferrari were at cheating though, says Binotto

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 30, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari chief-for-now, Mattia Binotto has pointed out amidst their disintegrating season that Ferrari were world champions at cheating, barely 12 months ago.

Alonso hoping he didn’t do something stupid after downing that bottle of tequila

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 16, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Fernando Alonso, waking up with a screaming hangover and no memory of the previous evening is praying he hasn't done something really, really stupid.

Man with Silverstone tickets thanks the Lord

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 18, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

The father of 2 young children who had promised to take his family to Silverstone this year, punched the air upon hearing there wouldn't be spectators at this year's event.

Well, that's the end of this suit!

Verstappen absence wards off F1 toilet paper panic

Post author:Ed
Post published:April 25, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Max Verstappen's absence from the Grand Prix circuits has helped ward off mounting toilet paper panic, F1 chiefs have confirmed.

Hulkenberg terrified of Medusa Touch

Post author:Ed
Post published:April 12, 2020
Post Category:Formula 1

Nico Hulkenberg is terrified he has created the Coronavirus epidemic out of his own vengeful mind.

Hamilton still not opening Rosberg Christmas cards

Post author:Ed
Post published:December 23, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Lewis Hamilton has confirmed that Nico Rosberg's 2019 Christmas card went the same way as the previous 3: straight into the #44 stencilled recycling bin.

Turned off my targeting computer, admits Leclerc

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 15, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Charles Leclerc has apologised for turning off his targeting computer whilst defending the lead from Lewis Hamilton at Sunday's Italian Grand Prix.

Schumacher career emulation probably gone too far, admits Vettel

Post author:Ed
Post published:September 9, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Sebastian Vettel has admitted his attempt to emulate former mentor and hero Michael Schumacher has overstepped the mark.

Albon grateful for Mayfly F1 career opportunity

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 22, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Alex Albon has thanked Red Bull for being given the opportunity to have his F1 career condensed to that of a Mayfly.

That’s Red Bull Wang!!!!

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 14, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Red Bull have sent the bloke from their first team back to the second team they hired it from, joining the other bloke they'd done the same thing to in…

Haas 5-year plan to get worse

Post author:Ed
Post published:August 4, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

as' 5 year F1 plan was to turn into the clusterfuck team everyone thought they would be when they first turned a wheel at Melbourne in 2016.

Heightened F1 excitement still no match for cricket

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 20, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

2 Grand Prix in a row featuring nail-biting excitement can't shift the reality F1 is less exciting than cricket, say experts.

F1 now Schroedingers Cat

Post author:Ed
Post published:July 12, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

F1 has now moved into the quantum realm, scientists have confirmed.

Booing this particular podium perfectly alright, say Ferrari

Post author:Ed
Post published:June 13, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari have insisted booing the 2019 Canadian Grand Prix podium was perfectly acceptable unlike on previous occasions when it wasn't.

Ferrari insist everyone come down to their level

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 20, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

Ferrari have asked if everyone couldn't come down to their level of absolute omnishambles.

Bottas not the type of competitor who won’t let me win, says Hamilton

Post author:Ed
Post published:May 8, 2019
Post Category:Formula 1

is Hamilton has once again praised team-mate Valtteri Bottas for not being Nico Rosberg: the dastardly German who wouldn't let Lewis win all the time.