Woop-dee-fucking-do say British F1 TV audiences
UK F1 fans without a Sky subscription are thanking their lucky stars they get to see their favourite sport next year 4 hours after it happened for half the running time it actually took. (more…)
Raikkonen 2008 form finally turns up
The form that would have helped Kimi Raikkonen to the 2008 World Title has finally turned up. (more…)
That’s it then is it? asks Vandoorne
Stoffel Vandoorne has asked if that’s basically his motorsports career and what the fuck was the point of any of it? (more…)
Ricciardo wakes up from summer break trying to remember what the fuck he’s done
Daniel Ricciardo spent the summer break off his tits on so many different drugs he’s pretty certain he did something really stupid but can’t remember what exactly.
Alonso virus finally dead, proclaim researchers
Medical researchers have claimed that the Fernando Alonso virus has finally been defeated.
Could we have a different Indian patriot please? say Indians
Indians were asking if they could have an alternative billionaire patriot to the Vijay Mallya one they’d been given as he’s basically gone and done the opposite of what one of those is supposed to do. (more…)
Vodka flavoured water just water, discovers Raikkonen
Kimi Raikkonen has discovered the vodka in his drinks bottle is actually water after his Ferrari team forgot to connect it at the Hungarian Grand Prix and the Finn felt exactly the same at the end as he normally does. (more…)
Claire Williams unaware dad owns team
Bottas luck to be weaponised
Valtteri Bottas‘ bad luck is to be synthesised into a toxic gas and deployed as part of NATO’s strategic first line of defence. (more…)
Mercedes to double-down on conspiracy theory department
Germans still bloody win at things go British GP fans
British Grand Prix fans were dismayed to learn that you can only laugh at the Germans for about 10 minutes before they piss all over you in humiliating fashion. (more…)
James Vowles apologizes for Sherzinger break up
Mercedes‘ tacticul guru, James Vowles has apologized to Lewis Hamilton for inadvertently causing his 6 year old break-up with glamorous yoghurt saleswoman, Nicole Scherzinger. (more…)
Hamilton worried Verstappen cornering bellend market
Lewis Hamilton is increasingly concerned Max Verstappen is stealing his carefully cultivated fanbase into wilful bellendedness. (more…)
Only supposed to provide the tits and diamonds says Monaco
The Monaco Grand Prix circuit is protesting that it’s only supposed to supply glamour and pizazz to the F1 calendar and there’s nothing in it’s contract about ‘racing.’ (more…)
Monaco shitting itself over Verstappen attendance
Monaco is bricking it as the Grand Prix venue anticipates the arrival of Max Verstappen at the currently pristine track. (more…)
Barcelona confirms it’s fucking boring
The Spanish Grand Prix has confirmed it is a complete waste of space as far as excitement, tension or decent racing goes. (more…)
World leaders to meet regarding Ericsson threat
Leaders of all the world’s nations are to meet to discuss the threat Swedish F1 driver Marcus Ericsson poses to the world. (more…)
Wacky Races to sue Baku for copyright infringement
The childrens’ television animation series, Wacky Races is suing the Azerbaijan Grand Prix for copying all its ideas. (more…)
Red Bull considering Verstappen XBox withdrawal
Red Bull Racing are considering the nuclear option of removing Max Verstappen’s XBox if the driver continues crashing, it’s been revealed. (more…)
