Mercedes‘ “magic” button is to be renamed Bottas from now on so absolutely nobody is left in any doubt as to the likely disaster should anybody be dumb enough to press the bastard.
Poised to head the drivers’ world championship following a chaotic race in which chief rival, Max Verstappen crashed out, Hamilton triggered his own demise when he accidentally pressed a button in his cockpit subsequently revealed by the team as the “magic” button.
Ploughing up the escape road in a cloud of tyre smoke, the watching public briefly thought the Finnish driver had somehow jumped the start and done his usual death defying act of self-immolation.
Mind you, Toto can do a terrific thing where he saws a lady in half
But it was only when the smoke cleared that it was revealed Hamilton was the one off the track rather than his bumbling sidekick.
Team insider, Dirk Vonnegut said, “Mercedes engineering is second to none so it’s no surprise that when creating a function that destroys a driver’s race in the most catastrophically comical fashion imaginable the Stuttgart marque would be at the forefront.”
“But now having demonstrated to the world that you don’t fuck with them even with fucking things up, Mercedes need to make absolutely sure there’s no chance of triggering it again.”
“And there seems little doubt renaming it “the Bottas button” leaves no room in anyone’s mind the likely shambles that would be unleashed if anybody so much as breathed on it,” he explained.
It’s thought that Bottas now cries himself to sleep whilst listening to a selection of Finnish nursery rhymes.
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