Fernando Alonso, waking up with a screaming hangover and no memory of the previous evening is praying he hasn’t done something really, really stupid.
The now absolutely-locked-in-can’t-get-out-of-it-by-any-stretch-of-the-imagination-2021-Renault-driver was having a perfectly normal evening but was suddenly sidetracked with an inexplicable desire to finish off that bottle of tequila he got in Mexico. And that was the last thing he can remember.
Said the 39 year old, “I was just doing my normal Wednesday evening thing of staring straight at a spot on the wall directly opposite my sofa for hours wondering about some life choices I’d made, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed an unopened bottle of Patron Silvo Blanco I got from a sponsor in 2017.”
My head hurts…
“The next thing I know it’s Thursday afternoon, my head feels like it’s been cooked in an immersion heater full of bin juice and my whole house smells of Gitane blonde and camembert.”
The Double World Champion if you can remember back that far had a blackout between the 6th and 8th of July and may or may not have signed a multi-year contract with some shitty French Formula 1 team.
“I hope to fuck I didn’t do anything rash like that time I found some half finished bottles of holiday vodka in my drinks cabinet back in 2014, ” Alonso continued.
“I woke up in Woking. Worst 3 years of my life,” he added.