Hamilton still not opening Rosberg Christmas cards

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Lewis Hamilton has confirmed that Nico Rosberg’s 2019 Christmas card went the same way as the previous 3: straight into the #44 stencilled recycling bin. 

The gaudy red monstrosity printed on A4 double bonded card featuring bead-embossed tinsel framing a giant print of the 2016 champion cuddling his impossibly cute wife and children never left the envelope once Hamilton recognised the handwriting. 

Confirmed the 2019 champion’s media posse via an Instagram post of the discarded card, “Xmas blessings to everyone: except LOSERS!!!!  #blessed #robbed #neverforget#teamLH44 #merryXmas” 

Merry Christmas from me, the Instagram intern and the Twitter trainee

An increasingly fractious season eventually saw Rosberg famously pipping his English team-mate to the 2016 title beforefurther enraging the fully combustible Hamilton by having the temerity to consider weekends with his new family as preferable to having his arse handed to him instead. 

The German always insisted there were no hard feelings however and has consistently sent greetings cards to his old team mate at suitable moments such as Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Hannukah, the Day of the Dead, the Feast of Stephen, National Womens’ Day, National Mens’ Day and every 27thof November: the anniversary of his title clinching moment. 

“Felicitations to you and your media team from the entire lovely family – LOL,” routinely go the cards that drop through the Hamilton letterbox with an ominous, malignant thud; spreading joy and laughter in the Rosberg household.