The 23 year old Toro Rosso then Red Bull driver was talking after his brief employment at the former was curtailed in order for him to step up to the chance of having an even briefer career at the latter.
“I’d like to thank Red Bull for handing me this fleeting chance at F1 ignominy,” the Thai-Brit eulogised.
“Though with any luck it will be so fleeting everyone will have forgotten how forgettable it was before next season’s even started.”
“Or possibly this one’s finished, depending on how it goes from here,” he explained.
Albon’s nano-chance came about following the disappointing exploits of previous transitory incumbent of the seat, Pierre Gasly.
Also 23 and also swapped around between the caffeine sodden breakneck marketer’s Toro Rosso and Red Bull teams more often than a magician’s ball-in-a-cup routine, the Frenchman had failed to impress for the 12 minutes the party fluid manufacturers claimed was ample in modern Formula 1.
“Like the Mayfly, I too have been treading water in the lower formulae,” Albon continued.
“However, Red Bull’s backing has allowed me to finally metamorphose into my true form as their F1 representative; being fucked in the head to capitulate in glorious technicolour before the world’s media.”
“I’d like to thank them for the opportunity and in the meantime ask if anyone has a spare Formula E pass knocking about?”