Ferrari insist everyone come down to their level

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Ferrari have asked if everyone couldn’t come down to their level of absolute omnishambles.

The historically important (it says here) team issued the plea whilst once again counting the cost of having the biggest budget, fastest engine, sexiest women and best colour in the paddock with which to piss their expensive cloud of red, white and green failure.

Latest Head of Scapegoat, Mattia Binotto said, “spending all this money on the right things in the right way is incredibly difficult. Certainly too difficult for us.”

Who here wants to leave?

“Much easier is to get the wrong driver, engineer and management team in then spending all the rest of your time shooting yourselves in the foot.”

“That’s why we’re asking the rest of the paddock to adopt our working practices: it’s less effort, more fun and if more people did it we might fucking win something at last.”

Since the Scuderia were crowned Definitely King of Everything in 2019 by a pack of drunken journalists evidently larking about, the Maranello team have won the absolute fuck allest of fuck alls in a season already dominated by arch rivals Mercedes. Assuming Mercedes remember who they are.

“There’s no shame in dropping down a level; especially ours where we make the loveliest espressos, have the coolest outfits and the cleverest non-cigarette fag advertising,” continued Binotto.