Leaders of all the world’s nations are to meet to discuss the threat Swedish F1 driver Marcus Ericsson poses to the world.
Following a second successive Grand Prix in which Romain Grosjean mysteriously crashed, the fingering of the Swede as the culprit by the Haas driver at the previous race in Baku has led many to speculate about how Ericsson’s malevolent powers might be wielded to even more destructive prowess than merely making some French twat crash every 10 minutes.
UN Head Antonio Guterres said, “from climate change to nuclear proliferation it behoves all nations to act promptly and comprehensively when confronted by an existential threat.”
Ericsson = chaos (+ Grosjean)
“This includes rogue Swedish racing drivers who can apparently magic up accidents from thin air regardless of where the other protagonist is.”
“Mark my words: the world hasn’t seen anything this frightening and incomprehensible since 1978’s the Medusa Touch starring Richard Burton,” he clamoured.
Prior to his outing for malevolent witchcraft Ericsson’s career to date had been mainly categorised as a well financed journeyman circulating pointlessly at the back of the pack.
But the apparently pointless perambulation has taken on new sinister undertones when Grosjean revealed the Swede was really some sort of incubus in a crash helmet.
“Today: Swiss-French 30-something racing drivers desperately clinging to a career mysteriously crashing, tomorrow nuclear Armageddon,” Guterres continued.
“It could definitely happen. I refer everyone to the aforementioned film, also starring Lino Ventura and Lee Remick.”