Too busy designing my London fashion range, Hamilton explains

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Lewis Hamilton couldn’t come to the London F1 Live event because he was too busy overseeing his official Lewis Hamilton London!!!® fashion range.

The provided-you-never-changed-your-opinion-that-Kris-Kross-were-the-cutting-edge-of-trendiness fashion-icon was the only current F1 driver not to attend the London extravaganza for which the Englishman was roundly booed.

But once he’d had a series of meetings with his PR team, the Mercedes driver was unrepentant on his Instagram feed, “I was very upset after Austria because I didn’t win and my team mate did and as you know this can disrupt my sleep and give me a runny tummy,” he explained with a picture of his dog Coco looking sad.

You wait till they see my Lambeth Walkies! range

“So I decided it was better to not travel to my home country’s capital city to show my face for 30 minutes in front of 10’s of thousands of fans and go to Mykonos instead where I could finally find the time to figure out how to make a red phone box look cool on a beanie,” he added with a picture of his dog Roscoe wearing a hat.

Closing down the famous Mall for the occasion, the event featured every contemporary F1 driver except Hamilton shooting up and down the iconic landmark to pull spectacular donuts or – if you’re Lance Stroll – 3-point-turns.

Ex-drivers and now commentators Martin Brundle and David Coulthard then talked over the top of it so spectators could pretend they were at home rather than crammed behind 500 people taller than them looking at something not travelling very fast in the distance for which they’d somehow still be 200 quid down on by the time they’d left, just like the Silverstone event they’d studiously avoided attending.

“I know my absence must have disappointed lots of people,” Hamilton admitted with a picture of his dog, Lassie looking sad whilst donning a neckerchief.

“But once they see my Union Jack boxers featuring gold embossed Big Ben embroidery, my stick on black cab body tattoos and Tower of London iPhone case they’ll change their minds,” he posted with a picture of his dog, Ol Yella with his tongue hanging out really far just like he was laughing.