The 67 year old former head of the Jordan Formula 1 team was speaking after his elevation from the role of chief hernia-inducing pundit on the BBC’s F1 show to chief hernia-inducing co-presenter on the BBC’s Top Gear program.
Said the bearded twat, “bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, mangled English, bollocks, bollocks, inane platitude, bollocks, bollocks, drivel, bollocks, inappropriate comment, bollocks, bollocks, lamentable prediction.”
I’ve got an idea where you can put that, mate
“Woeful, obsequious Bernie interview.”
“Bollocks”, he added.
Jordan began his career annoying the shit out of the motorsports community with his Formula 3 team before ascending to irritate the fuck out of everyone at the sport’s pinnacle by 1991.
The one-man babbling fountain of horseshit continued to bamboozle and infuriate the apogee of world motorsport until 2004 when he sold his team to Russian-Canadian entrepreneur Alex Schnaider who just about managed to sign the papers in front of him without holding the Irishman down and stabbing him repeatedly in the eye with the fountain pen.
But now the gargantuan blusterfuck’s superficial controversy schtick will be sorely tested by the one man you wish might get pushed into a giant bubbling chip pan by the only other person you were hoping might voluntarily jump in; Chris Evans.
“Look at how much money I have and who I know and who my friends are and how much money I’ve got and the cars I own and the things I have,” Evans started.
“Have I told you about my beautiful young wife and my houses and millions and millions of pounds and all my cars by the way?”
“Fucking Jesus,” went the audience.