Max Verstappen claims his high speed Lotus rear-ending at the Monaco Grand Prix was merely an homage to the black and gold charlatans’ newest sponsor, Pharrell Williams.
Absolutely ruining the back of Romain Grosjean’s mount on lap 64 of the iconic race, Verstappen claimed it was just the sort of thing the 7-time Grammy nominated artist would have approved.
“I’ve been a big fan of Mr Williams ouevre ever since he was in the Neptunes,” explained the teenager.
This. Actually. Happened
“Collaborations with Snoop Dogg, Gwen Stefani and Daft Punk being particular highlights.”
“But my absolute favourite is the number 1 smash, Blurred Lines featuring Robin Thicke’s lyric, I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two.”
“I just thought: what kind of tribute could be more appropriate than the nose of my Toro Rosso at 140mph?”
The Dutch youngster has consistently annoyed one section of the paddock busy judging their own teenage offspring by driving his Formula 1 car really quickly rather than only interrupting the bulk of a day spent locked in a semi-darkened bedroom masturbating to yell at his dad that he hates him.
So the high speed spoff on former kamikaze pin-up pilot Grosjean was the perfect excuse for the media to rip the son of wife-beating F1 human fireball Jos Verstappen a new one.
“I’d like to apologise for confusing onlookers I’d made an actual mistake when all I was doing was showing my appreciation of arguably Marvin Gaye’s most talented rip-off merchant,” said the teenager.
“And at least I wasn’t paying homage to Billy Joel.”
“When he did his We Didn’t Start the Fire tribute, it just dad got into all sorts of trouble,” he explained.
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