Formula E is like – nothing to do with E at all man, druggies are saying.
Monged out pot-heads first noticed absolutely nobody was getting wasted when emerging from their cannabis-fuelled stupors on somebody’s couch in Camden.
Pill-popping psychonaut, Chico Blazes told us, “I was just coming down from some serious skunk at Ian’s flat: the TV was on but I couldn’t change channels because – basically – I couldn’t feel my arms.”
I’ve got a poem about Lucas di Grassi
“And this voice said, “welcome to ITV7, next it’s Formula E.” And I was like – cool; because I was starting to get massively paranoid and I needed something to bring me back up.”
“But then these cars started driving at me all sounding like a shit version of Tron and I fucking freaked out man.”
“And that’s when I woke up in this burns unit. Have you got any Rizlas?”
Formula E is actually a new motor racing formula made out of electricity and features out of work Formula 1 drivers fighting back tears of self-disgust competing in glamorous, largely non-plussed locations around the world.
“Actually yeah: coke would be cool, have you got any coke?”
“How about glue?” Blazes added, staring at some apparently oscillating point halfway towards the back of your brain.