Formula E is like – nothing to do with E at all man, druggies are saying.
Monged out pot-heads first noticed absolutely nobody was getting wasted when emerging from their cannabis-fuelled stupors on somebody’s couch in Camden.
Pill-popping psychonaut, Chico Blazes told us, “I was just coming down from some serious skunk at Ian’s flat: the TV was on but I couldn’t change channels because – basically – I couldn’t feel my arms.”
I’ve got a poem about Lucas di Grassi
“And this voice said, “welcome to ITV7, next it’s Formula E.” And I was like – cool; because I was starting to get massively paranoid and I needed something to bring me back up.”
“But then these cars started driving at me all sounding like a shit version of Tron and I fucking freaked out man.”
“And that’s when I woke up in this burns unit. Have you got any Rizlas?”
Formula E is actually a new motor racing formula made out of electricity and features out of work Formula 1 drivers fighting back tears of self-disgust competing in glamorous, largely non-plussed locations around the world.
One of its participants, Frank Montagny also got confused about the title but thought it meant you could just take anything that would get you high.
“Actually yeah: coke would be cool, have you got any coke?”
“Methamphetamines? Acid?”
“How about glue?” Blazes added, staring at some apparently oscillating point halfway towards the back of your brain.
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