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The reason Ron Dennis divorced his wife over 5 years ago was because he caught Jenson Button sleeping with her.

Well he must have done otherwise why is the 34 year old from Frome being treated like this? everyone has concluded.

F1 observer Chris Textures observed, “Jenson is widely regarded as the perfect F1 gent; as polite on the track as he is off it.”

Let’s see you smiling at the end of the year, dandruff boy

“As well as  being a peerless ambassador for any team’s sponsor, his copious abilities behind the wheel should make him a top target for every outfit up and down the paddock.”

“So Ron getting rid of him in such a humiliating, drawn out fashion means he must have caught him doing his wife. Up the arse. During a boardroom meeting, I imagine,” he added.

Despite consistently out-performing his team-mate, the 2009 World Champion is widely believed to have been axed from next year’s line-up but has been deliberately strung along for months, presumably for doing something absolutely unspeakable.

“If revenge is a dish best served cold then absolutely Arctic is Ron to an absolute ‘T’,” continued Textures.

“Unless it’s just Mclaren not being able to find their arse with their hands as usual.”

“Perhaps it’s that?”