Mattiacci regrets not having long enough to fuck Ferrari up properly

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Newest sacked Ferrari boss Marco Mattiacci regrets not being given long enough to properly fuck up the Italian F1 concern.

The 43 year old only had 7 months at the famous constructor which was barely enough time to order 1,000s of Euros of mis-spelt stationary, re-paint the factory blue and issue instructions that all the ancillaries of the 2015 car be constructed from wholewheat fusilli.

Said the Italian, “you can hardly do anything in 7 months – certainly not run a great team like Ferrari allegedly is into the ground.”

marco mattiacci fired

I need you to stay here and screw everything up: ok?

“It was all I could do to piss our one star asset off so much he left, indirectly get the company chairman fired and by implying Kimi’s farting about was acceptable: simultaneously making us a laughing stock and the whole workforce suicidally depressed.”

“Not bad but I reckon a couple more years would have seen us turn into the Italian Caterham: which was basically my brief.”

The Scuderia’s F14T challenger landed like a turd in everyone’s drink performing immediately like the back of a Peroni beer mat illustration it was and costing Mattiacci’s predecessor, Stefano Domenicali his job.

A pinnacle of clusterfuckheadedness the newest Audi employee proudly claimed his 5 year tenure was building up to.

“I’m not saying I could top that,” Mattiacci whined.

“But I made sure we kept the monosyllabic alcoholic bloke and hired someone else slower than a man with more teeth than a dentist’s graveyard.”

“Don’t I at least get a badge or something?”