Jolyon Palmer confident of future medical career

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New GP2 champion Jolyon Palmer is confident he has a glittering medical career in front of him.

The 23 year old son of ex-Formula 1 driver Jonathan Palmer clinched the championship at the series’ 10th Round in Sochi with his 4th victory, celebrating with a bottle of champagne and a Medical school application form.

Said the catastrophically named Brit, “not having 2 million quid in the bank I’m delighted to have achieved the pinnacle of my motor racing career and hereby announce my immediate retirement.”

jolyon and jonathan palmer

This way to the Proctology ward!

“Thankfully, with a qualified doctor as a father and nepotism alive and well in the UK health service, I’m 100% confident I can still achieve a lot when I qualify to be a GP in 7 years time,” he explained.

GP2 had been a staple of F1 talent until bank account sizes were deemed superior at signalling driver ability.

“You might think winning lots of races and championships in junior formulae are the ideal criteria for predicting success in F1 but you’d be wrong,” F1 talent spotter Miles Vortex explained.

“A massive bank account is much better: particularly when having that bank account means your car exists in the first place.”

“Just think: within a decade I could be prescribing anti-depressants, lancing the boils of ugly children and staring up at a pensioner’s piles,” Palmer continued.

“And it would still be less embarrassing than when dad had to drive a Zakspeed.”