Ferrari are to bring forward their reasons for inevitable failure in 2015 to the end of this season.
The Scuderia are ramping up their excuse technology in the face of criticism 2014’s cop-outs are already at the start of the season, way behind schedule.
Paddock pundit Sean O’Seanessy said, “Ferrari are considerably inferior to their rivals in mitigation and cover-story bullshit.”
These mice get bloody *everywhere*, don’t they?
“Beginning the whining process in Melbourne is a step forward but they’ve got to up their game if they’re to avoid people being disappointed for at least part of each season, going forwards.”
The Italian team entered the 2014 season full of the sort of optimism they’ve displayed in the previous 3 years meaning there was little surprise when it turned out to be pure, unadulterated fantasy.
The famous marque now have to frantically regroup for Malaysia to figure out whether the current omnishambles can be pinned on someone in the engine department, the man who orders the coffee, Bernie Ecclestone or a Voodoo spell cast by a disgruntled viewer in Haiti.
“Oh yeah: I forgot they re-hired Kimi, didn’t they? I guess not then.”