Lotus are to sit out the first official F1 test in order to fully understand the terms of this Wonga loan.
The Enstone squad made the announcement just as backroom boffins thought they’d finally grasped the difference between APR and EAPR, compound interest and amortization; only to get distracted and have to start the whole process all over again.
Head of F1’s Titanic re-enactment display team, Eric Boullier said, “this [Jerez] test is a crucial first step for any team serious about its 2014 championship ambitions.”
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“But on the other hand, some of the terms and conditions on this loan are really, really hard to understand.”
“I mean: is this rate the effective APR or is it the compound rate? Do we pay back the loan plus the lending rate or is it the simple rate minus the opportunity cost of borrowing?” he pleaded.
The cash strapped outfit revealed the new financial arrangements on its website in a message entitled, “Oh God, oh God how the fuck are we going to pay for all of this; oh Christing-fuck all these people have families and bills to pay; oh Jesus Christing fucking hell has it really come to this?”
“Your team may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your loan. We do not feel pity, we do not feel remorse and we absolutely will not stop until we have the shirt off your back. Have a nice day, ” the winsome puppet-fronted loans company added.