Excitement of fizzy drink motor racing history being made causes me unrelenting sexual joy, admits Horner

Christian Horner gets a right diamond cutter every time he thinks about the carbonated pop motor racing legend he’s creating.

On the brink of yet another world title, the head of motor racing’s most successful ever fizzy drink named team admitted the whole history thing gave him sexually-charged goosebumps.

“I see a team like Ferrari or Mclaren”, the Harpo-faced, perpetually squinting millionaire said.

Excitement of fizzy drink motor racing history being made causes me unrelenting sexual joy, admits Christian Horner

Sex face set to stun!

“I see their history; their champions; the drama, passion and exquisite truth that only the fiery crucible of pure sporting endeavour can create and I look at a logo of 2 bulls on the side of a motorized drink can and think: wow, that’s exactly what we’re doing.”

Red Bull have been criticised for making each season only marginally less excruciating than a spontaneous Crofty witticism.

But seeing as Ferrari, Mclaren and Lotus also did that then they’ll be thought of in exactly the same way in future, won’t they?

“Children growing up with us now will see a can of Red Bull in adulthood and think of nothing but romance, excitement, speed, passion, drama, sport, petrol fumes and burning rubber.”

“Well: I fucking hope so. Dietrich’s sunk about a billion quid into it if they don’t.”

Leave a Reply