The fucking idiot who apparently can’t even see a bloody great 30 kilogram wheel barreling towards him has completely ruined our fun, the Formula 1 media has complained.
The man – or ‘twat’ – was hit by the Red Bull detritus during the German Grand Prix because the prick was too busy filming or something which means everyone has to report from the equivalent of a frigging underground padded crèche.
Journalist Max Rash said, “I used to love hanging around the pitlane pretending my job was vaguely perilous; especially because it was about the only thing that kept my wife remotely aroused.”
“But now I have to hide up here on the pitwall there’s absolutely zero chance of even getting a blowie off her.”
From the earliest sketch artists to modern gyroscope camera suits, 100 years of covering pitstops and drivers’ latest bits of fluff have been captured in complete safety until a bloke getting hit by a fucking great runaway wheel made people realise people could get hit by a fucking great runaway wheel.