Bahrainis think the night race is an excellent idea to keep national harmony as it will remind everyone what it’s like to be detained in a police cell.
Everybody’s favourite politically unstable Grand Prix announced plans to have the race held at night as it would look spectacular on television and fewer people would see all these troublemakers being driven off into the desert to have their arms broken.
And the idea even found favour amongst locals otherwise too terrified to talk to anyone with a white face lest the local police throw them into a pit for 5 years having first beaten up their extended family.
And we’ll save heaps on the lighting
“This is the sort of move that will bring reconciliation to our country,” local man Al Saeed Please Don’t Tell Them My Real Name, Oh God, Oh God: Please Don’t Do That I Really Love My Family And My Arms And Legs, told us.
“The race will generate interest and money for the ruling elite – sorry, economy; and everyone watching in the country – regardless of their views – will be able to come together over an image of complete darkness spotlit with 50,000 watt arc lamps punctuated with very loud, alien terrifying noises every 30 seconds.”
“It will bring every one together; albeit in a spontaneous moment of terrified defecation,” he added.
Head of F1 money-lending, Bernie Ecclestone was luke warm on the idea however.
“What’s in it for me though? What’s in it for me? There’s no point if there’s nothing in it for me,” he said over and over again to himself in front of a mirror made of diamonds.
