Lotus legend admits title hopes are finished

Jim Clarke has finally admitted his chances of winning the 1968 World Drivers’ championship are gone.

The 32 year old dead Scottish racing driver was reminiscing at a seance of invited journalists who all think things were much better in the 1960s when they could drink, smoke and molest women with impunity whilst exciting things like accident fatalities happened on a regular basis.

And it was during this Q&A ouija board session that the former borders farmer admitted his chances of landing the title were as dead as he is.

jim clark

Adele largely inaudible from down there

“I always said I would keep fighting until it was mathematically impossible for me to win,” he informed the audience by banging on the pipes, rippling the curtains and moving Scrabble tiles around a card table.

“But now Graham Hill has been declared champion for 44 years and this pine tree is permanently embedded in my head, I think it’s is the right time to admit defeat,” he admitted, admitting defeat.

The double world champion’s statement though largely anticipated still came as a shock to certain grizzled hacks.

Grizzled hack, Terry Pencils said, “I never thought I’d see the day when Jim Clark threw in the towel.”

“Mathematically, 1968 may be over 40 years ago and technically Jim may have been under 6 feet of Scottish highlands soil for that period but a statement like that just plays into the hands of his competitors.”

“Graham, Jochen, Elio de Angelis all just got that little bit stronger,” he whined.

Bookies immediately stopped taking bets on the Lotus driver about 10 minutes before doing the same regarding Kimi Raikkonen’s 2012 chances.

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