Felipe Massa drama reaches poignant 2nd act

Felipe Massa’s brief spike in competitiveness during the summer was just an elaborate plot device.

The most recent development in the Brazilian’s crazy 12 year F1 career – a dramatic resurgence in form following an embarrassing run of performances – was not a precursor to a fully-fledged Rocky IV style comeback as many had predicted.

South American TV executive Felix Senna- Pele admitted: ”Felipe has entertained millions of viewers down the years but it’s time for a new face on Globo Globo TV Snatch Channel 37.”

Felipe Massa

It’s not worth it Felipe!

“This isn’t the end of him but I can promise avid viewers something suitably dramatic in 2013: possibly involving an oxygen tent or at the very least the trauma ward of a large hospital.”

The Brazilian entered F1 as a young, fast but un-polished, mistake-laden driver and leaves it a slow, un-polished, mistake-laden older driver with more money in the bank.

In between, his roller-coaster career was bankrolled and manipulated by Brazilian television stations lacking a big draw since the death of Ayrton Senna but unhappy with discount, anodyne wavy-Davy lookalike substitute, Rubens Barrichello.

“It’s true; the whole of Felipe’s racing career is basically nothing but a stupendously contrived plot for a popular daytime Brazilian soap opera,” paddock pundit, Gary Imlach commented.

“So we’ve had the tantrums and frustrations of youth ironed out and channelled into something powerful by a wiser, older counsel; the subsequent glory followed inevitably by despair. Basically it’s the Karate Kid films in Portugese minus the re-boot version.”

“Which is weird because when they were first casting, Ralph Macchio was this close to getting the part,” he added.

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