DIY 747: Air Asia announce Caterham cross over

Air Asia passengers are being offered the chance to build the charter aircraft taking them to their holiday destination.

The inducement was announced following Tony Fernandes’ confession he couldn’t decide whether Ryanair Wannabe, Air Asia or Past Times Lego Lotus, Caterham would lose the most kudos once the former’s logo was plastered all over the latter’s sidepods.

Coming to the conclusion it was like writing your name in shit on top of another shit, the happy-go-lucky QPR chairman chose to celebrate the turd-merging by launching the gimmick to a roomful of people who attend those sorts of things.


 “Right: where’s China?”

“To celebrate the fact my F1 team finds it even harder to find a sponsor than Williams, I can confirm today that future passengers on my airline needn’t worry about packing travel books, sorting out overseas currency or bringing any more clothes with them than they might for an overnight stay on their best friend’s couch,” he started.

“Much like the excitement a tired and confused Caterham buyer has when he first fires up his DIY Classic 7 and wonders if he really did tighten all the nuts and bolts to the correct torque settings, this unique offer is sure to fix the name of both these great brands in the minds of all our terrified customers.”

The scheme will operate by issuing each customer with a box of spanners and a crucifix and pointed at a hangar full of aircraft parts.

There, with the aid of a set of broadly unambiguous line drawings, they and their fellow passengers will assemble their holiday destination transport for just a fraction of the cost allowing someone who actually knows how to do that would.

“It’s the opportunity of a lifetime,” Fernandes added.

“By which I mean, you almost certainly won’t get another.”

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