Motor racing just isn’t the sort of subject you should be laughing about, it’s been revealed.
The motorized competition that comes out of your telly every now and then and you find quite enjoyable is actually very serious; very serious indeed actually, claim these experts.
People get hurt, people die, people win, people lose and frankly, you should just remember that the next time you make fun of Fernando Alonso’s big hat or Sebastian Vettel’s finger pointing monomania.
“People die. People are dying in this sport,” hyperventilating fan, Kirsty Serious told us.
“And people should reflect that fact by never making jokes about this sport ever again.”
“And that includes professional comedians, non-specialist breakfast radio sports presenters attempting light-hearted jocularity and the casual spectator idly giggling at Kamui Kobyashi’s accent,” she added.
“That’s why we’re calling for a ban on insipid Eddie Jordan shirt taunting together with the immediate cessation of whimsical in-race banter concerning the meaning of the word, ‘undercut,” she added.
Experts were united on the issue.
“Apart from the last time this happened a few months ago, people are right to think this is the worst thing that has ever happened and has changed everything,” commentator, Justin Just commented.
“And it behoves everyone to act sad, serious, appalled and disgusted at the same time until it’s forgotten and this happens all over again in another few months.”
“I was so ashamed at my sport that I wasn’t going to watch another race ever again,” another fan told us.
“But then I remembered I really liked it. Also, I’d more or less forgotten who’d died after a couple of days anyway so the decision was more or less taken for me: it was a bloke with hair and another bloke who liked milk, I think.”
“I will however remember to put on a concerned face during the slow-motion tributes and portentous voiceover bit they’ll inevitably bung on this weekend, just in case anyone is watching and thinks that really I secretly quite like the ersatz glamour a bit of death brings to it, every now and then.”
“Which I don’t, obviously,” he said in his Senna t-shirt, standing in front of a Gilles Villeneuve poster.