BBC hail corporation equality with promotion of “right bit of crumpet” to talking and smiling at drivers job

Carry on Driving: Feminists, Trotskyists and lezzers were celebrating last night when the BBC announced that this cracking piece of skirt would be allowed to flash her charlies and pins at all the Formula 1 drivers for the Japanese Grand Prix this November, writes our equal-opportunites correspondent, Winston Bra-Burner.

Despite having breasts and – it’s rumoured – a secret, furry, downstairs front compartment where a cock and balls should be, Lee McKenzie has been allowed into the pitlane on a BBC contract since the start of the 2009 season.

During this time, the 38-28-36 Phwooarmula 1 correspondent is said to have impressed corporation chiefs by being able to walk and talk at the same time and not collapse into a fit of giggles whilst interviewing Jenson Button.

Lee McKenzie

Phwooooarmula 1 gets sexy, says increasingly unimaginative sub-editor

Her feistiness and independence are also said to be highly valued by the broadcaster as shown by her refusal in most instances to accede to her male co-stars requests to iron their shirts at each race and make them a nice cup of tea too whilst she was about it.

“She is a terrific role model for all ambitious, go-getting women”, top feminist writer, Danny Dyer commented.

“Not only is she able to walk about the pitlane without tottering over on her 4 inch heels but she has never once been overcome by petrol fumes nor forgotten what driver she was talking to and what colour car he was driving again, upon being reminded for the 8th time by her producer”.

“Plus”, the cheeky misogynist cockney streak of piss added, “she has a cracking set so even if the race is really boring and it’s the middle of the night I should think no red blooded male will have any problems getting – and staying – up!”, he joked.

“I mean they’ll have an erection”, he later clarified.

The promotion of the 5 foot 4“ chesty professional to lead Grand Prix chatting person came about after usual anchor Jake Humphrey was seconded to present coverage of Teletubbies Live! From the NEC and is said to be filled with girly pride at the prospect.

Lee McKenzie

I’d blow on her diffuser, said F1 fan

“She is over the moon right now”, her agent Cuntsy Lemonsqueezer told us.

“It is the pinnacle of any woman TV presenter’s career to take over the lead anchor’s role for an event in the middle of the night hardly anybody sane will be watching because the usual, better male candidate is off doing something else their employer thinks is more important”.

“At the same time”, she added “Lee knows only too well that this is an enormous and important opportunity for her and her sex and is taking it extremely seriously“.

“This is why as part of her current holiday plans she is concentrating on a carefully controlled crash diet so that she can get into that hot little BBC monogrammed size 10 boob tube for the grid at Suzuka,“ she continued down her mobile phone between mouthfuls of granola.

Following a sobbing fit, Ms McKenzie was unavailable for comment between vomiting her breakfast into the toilet.

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