Dog and Duck, Hackney: The war of words between ex-F1 supremo Max Mosley and ex-team principal, disgraced comedy-jowled Italian Flavio Briatore rose to boiling point last night when the former – or possibly the latter – finally snapped whilst on his second pint and urged his protagonist to settle this like men in the car park following yet another harsh exchange of views concerning the latter’s right to even lace the former’s fucking shoes.
Ever since he was forced out of the sport forever when he was found extremely guilty of cheating in the Singapore Grand Prix of 2008, the erstwhile head of Benetton nee Renault’s previous status as disgraced businessman has been threatened – and protested vigorously against – by his current status as disgraced team manager.
“Whether or not he is actually innocent”, Vincente Strepsils, his personal assistant commented, “Flavio has always protested his innocence; but that protestation of innocence has not been given the respect it deserves regardless of whether it is justified. Flavio is extremely disappointed in this lack of respect he is being shown and that is why he is going out the back now near the bins to settle this once and for all”.
Max and Flav: A&E poised for them sometime after 11
For his part, Mosley is said to be disappointed his former friend has taken to bad mouthing him in the press for perceived injustices, pointing out the number of times he considers Briatore has gotten away with what could have been considered illegal activity during his time at both Benetton and Renault.
“That fackin’ jelly-nosed Itie is takin’ the piss if e’ finks I’m gonna listen to ’iz shit all day wiv wot e’d fackin got away wiv under my watch – the cant”, joked the Old Etonian, “an if e’ can’t shut iz fackin’ marf I am gunna fill it wiv my fackin’ boots”, he finished, handing his jacket to a large man with a spider’s web tattoo on his face, rolling his sleeves up and marching purposefully outside.
If Mosley and Briatore do go on to fight each other it will not be the first time F1 participants and officials have provoked each other into some sort of drubbing incident. Ayrton Senna famously punched a marshal at the 1987 Mexico grand prix when the latter refused to push start the Brazilian’s car after he’d spun off. In 2003 meanwhile, Jean Todt had to be restrained when challenging a particular stewards’ decision he violently disagreed with and Jean-Marie Balestre was beaten into a jellied pulp with a Lion Bar in 1992 by Patrick Head because he thought the Frenchman was a gigantic tit.
