Ferrari break with past by hiring old Italian driver regularly trounced by multiple World Champion

Gino Ginelli: Ferrari’s hiring of Giancarlo Fisichella for the final 5 races of the 2009 season as a replacement for Luca Badoer finally signalled an end to the embarrassing spectacle of the red cars tooling around at the back of the field piloted by some old Italian driver, writes our substitute correspondent, Michael Chemistry’set.

Watching the latest Italian veteran tooling around at the back of the timesheets in Monza, team principal Victor Spinetti heaped copious praise on Ginacarlo’s performance as he roared round the famous old track occasionally in top gear,

Giancarlo attempts to find button to make him go fast

“We are very ’appy”, he said in a comical Italian accent. “Fisi’s pace is enough to keep the rest of the field just about in sight whilst Luca’s wasn’t: it is a big improvement!” he eulogised over the traditional Italian slap up meal of spaghetti bolognaise, Pizza Express and a Cornetto.

The seat at the Scuderia became vacant following the injury to Felipe Massa at the Hungarian Grand Prix. Once it was clear Michael Schumacher wasn’t as good as Michael Schumacher thought he would still be, the Italian team decided to give the job to that bloke who’d been hanging around for ages at the back of the garage not doing much; you know, the one with the crash helmet.

It was only when chief mechanic Alfalfa Mio suggested measuring their new driver’s time by sun dial that the team realised that it was that bloody Badoer in the car and the team immediately set about the search for a completely different type of driver with the same nationality and age who’s turn of speed was at best, inconsistent.

Calling card: Fisi demonstrates to Ferrari hierarchy, what they’re missing

And as Fisichella’s name refused to bob anywhere above 20th in Monza free practice albeit a bit closer to the Torro Rosso’s in 18th and 19th, the famous home of the prancing horse breathed a collective sigh of relief over their ability to attract former top drivers to their historic team, keen on topping up their pensions.

“We have ended the embarrassment of the last 2 races finally – even though it wasn’t embarrassing in the first place”, Spinetti winced to the sound of Fisi burbling past the pits for the 40th time, in about 4th or 5th gear as Badoer hung himself out the back.

Michael Schumacher went a bit glassy eyed and stared into the middle distance whenever he was even vaguely asked a question about any of it.

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