Hungaroring power lead sabotage Technician reprimanded

A member of BMW’s technical staff has been reprimanded for failing to cover up how completely shite they were during Hungaroring qualifying.

Going into the final moments of the qualifying hour, the F1 global audience of hundreds of millions together with commentators and teams were left dumbfounded by the revelation it was far more exciting watching a black screen with numbers flashing on it that the actual cars driving around generating those numbers.

Timing Tizzy: Beemer technical expertise didn’t stretch to knowing how electricity flows up wires

The timing system failure not only left the entire Paddock bamboozled but denied thousands of Fernando Alonso fans the chance to revel in their hero’s glorious PR dash for pole in a car with up to a cupful of fuel on board.

But far from the power failure being an accident like Rubens Barrichello tripping over a plug or Nelson Piquet licking his fingers and sticking them into an electrical socket, it’s been revealed it was actually a bodged attempt by BMW technicians to prevent the world realising their $150 million investment may as well have been flushed straight into the Bavarian sewage system.

And set on fire. And buried. And dug up and flushed back down the toilet again.

The thus far unnamed technician is said to have crept up to the overloaded socket but pulled the wrong plug out; a mistake compounded by mistaking the groans of disappointment for success rather than the Top Gear feed on Dave failing.

Man pulling plug out of a wall from the internet, yesterday

“Bloody hell; we can pull the plug on the whole fucking operation but we can’t pull the right plug out of a sodding wall. No wonder we’re shit”, Mr Thiessen probably said.

BMW’s literal as opposed to metaphorical failure to pull the plug meanwhile, left many wryly amused.

“Yes, I found that wrly amusing and ironic”, said a long term father of 3 employee who will be out of a job come November.

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