Last Known Badoer Fan dies

Werthers Originals: Reg Garibaldi, the world’s last known Luca Badoer fan has died at a care home in Nuneaton at the age of 110 it was announced in emotional scenes on the Monday after the European Grand Prix.

Born in 1899 to a toxicologist’s wife in a corner of south west Dorset, the eccentric fan, whose life spanned two centuries and six monarchs, was 64 when John F Kennedy was assassinated, 70 when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and just 5 years from his 100th Birthday when refuelling was re-introduced at the 1994 Brazilian Grand Prix.

He lived through the ground effect era, saw the carbon fibre chassis revolution, the invention of the wheel and just before he died had the pleasure of opening the News of the World to read about the head of the governing body having his arse spanked by 5 women wearing German WW2 uniforms.

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“I thought I’d seen everything”, he once said before saying it again 5 minutes later because he’d forgotten he’d just said it, going on to repeat the same statement 8 times over a 20 minute period and then asking after a pet labrador that died in 1931 prior to passing out into a Mogadon-induced stupor.

It is not known why the former teacher and basketball coach came to support the 1991 F3000 champion, only that he did.

“He was a big fan”, Mrs Thorough-Drawbridge, Reg’s care home worker said to reporters, “he’d sit in that chair watching the racing going, “I love Luca, I love Luca”, over and over again, “I love Luca” he’d go, “I love Luca”; even though he was never racing. It was such a shame we had to restrain him when the others wanted Eastenders on”, she continued.

Ferrari personnel attempt manual performance improvement

Sadly, it is believed that the shock of seeing the Ferrari test driver actually behind the wheel of an F1 car was enough to do for the centenarian and he was said to have died peacefully in his sleep shouting and screaming about being trapped in a Royal Navy Destroyer that was slowly sinking in the icy South Atlantic whilst his best friend’s severed head bobbed around drooling a thin, grey soup of brains from a shattered skull into his petrified face.

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