Toyota entry, “proves we’re committed to finally getting through this warehouse full of $100 bills”

Cologne: Toyota’s signature on FOTA’s 2010 entry list has finally put to bed rumours that the not-quite-as-massive-as-it-was-yesterday car manufacturer was to pull out of the sport, supremo John Howett has told reporters.

The Japanese German team, famous for being that red and white car in the background, were thought to have got close to getting through the enormous backlog of Yen, gemstones, gold bars, fine wines, medieval tapestries and Old Masters discovered clogging up one of their warehouses in Tokyo in 1995 that became the fund for their F1 concern.

Toyota Goonies

Fuck: where did this pirate ship come from?

But years of shoveling money at the most expensive form of motor sport has apparently not done enough to empty the gargantuan palace of unseemly riches and the company are now thought to be a considerable way from burning through the impossibly opulent hall of cash built up by the builders of rectally dull cars.

“At the end of last year we were fairly sure we were close to finally spending all this money the company didn’t even know it had”, one employee said.

“Then we found a false wall and another 5 billion. So I reckon we’ve still got at least another couple of years of pointless tooling around somewhere around the middle of the pack selling video recorders therefore”, he continued.

Toyota F1 2009

In the time the flash went off, $100,000 disappeared: on goldfish

It’s a sign that other teams jostling meaninglessly between the front and the back are likely to be upset about with little suggestion in the short term that these same teams will now be able to get a bit closer to the car at the front and a bit further away from the one behind.

“I think I can see the bottom now,” a bloke with a JCB from somewhere around the middle of the pile said.

“Oh, no wait. It’s just a mezzanine level made of gold bullion,” he added.

Leave a Reply