Sports Personality runners-up rage sparks Hamilton medals endorsement

Kensington and Chelsea: Bernie Ecclestone’s recent proposal of a medals system to replace the current F1 scoring system last night received an unexpected endorsement from the new World Champion, Lewis Hamilton following yet another 2nd place finish in the annual oxymoronic BBC sports-shindig.

Group hug, moments before BBC award shrapnel found in contestant number 3

In a statement which delighted Ecclestone but caused ripples through the sport, the Mclaren driver threw his weight behind the apparently barmy plan.

“I believe that the system under discussion is potentially an excellent one and endorse it wholeheartedly,” exclaimed the new World Champ whilst smashing his second runners-up BBC sports personality trophy to smithereens with the one he received in 2007.

Apparently the British sports star, enraged at failing to land the tuppeny-haypenny ornament for the second year running believes that the only thing standing in the way of 2009 glory is a lack of flaxen medallions; something the 2008 winner, monster turkey drummer-thighed pedallist, Chris Hoy had in spades (threes).

It is a welcome boost to F1’s micro-manipulator who struggled to find backers for the controversial scheme when it was first announced back in December but who has insisted on its workability despite most people saying he is out of his titchy frigging mind.

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So contentious was the proposal in fact that many commentators believe it was merely a media stunt to deflect attention from his impending stupendously expensive and embarrassing divorce.

“There is form here”, one pundit volunteered, “when his finances were under close scrutiny he suddenly started going on about how Michael (Schumacher) should be tested for Kryponite in case his super human performances were literally that.”

“Then there was the furore about him saying women were only good for the kitchen. He claimed he’d been misquoted owing to being genetically half mollusc and therefore prone to communicating at frequencies frequently misinterpreted by non-bivalves”, this bloke concluded.

“Both times the controversy was lost in the hullabaloo of his subsequent nonsensical statements and this medals business is at least as bonkers.”

Ecclestone himself was unavailable for comment but probably would have burbled something condescending in his usual disconcertingly menacing way if he were.

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