Ralf F1 drive speculation mostly limited to inside of Ralf’s mind, claim reports

Recent heightened speculation that, together with his brother, Ralf Schumacher was about to re-join Formula 1 are said to have originated, been spread, achieved a modicum of credibility and been taken seriously by others solely from inside the ex-Toyota driver’s head

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Briatore and Mosley to settle this in the fucking car park, alright?

The war of words between ex-F1 supremo Max Mosley and ex-team principal, disgraced comedy-jowled Italian Flavio Briatore rose to boiling point last night when the former - or possibly the latter - finally snapped whilst on his second pint and urged his protagonist to settle this like men in the car park following yet another harsh exchange of views concerning the latter’s right to even lace the former’s fucking shoes.

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Schuey fan return: Mullet & Euro-Disco costs spark circuit bankruptcy fears

Vind aff Change: Michael Schumacher’s comeback has sent European racetracks into a kraut-crowd induced tailspin thanks to the multiple world champ’s army of sartorially challenged German fans following the new Mercedes driver out of retirement and into the 2010 F1 calendar. (more…)

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Legally dubious innovation, metal fatigue and money laundering: Fernandes makes Lotus heritage protection vow

Norfelch: New boss Tony Fernandes today promised to remain true to Team Lotus history and values by introducing a scheme to ensure the car broke down or crashed off for…

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Raikkonen rally safety fears: WRC to remove all Kingfisher logos from trees, rocks & lampposts

Kimi Raikkonen’s move to the WRC  has created safety fears amidst administrators of the tin top gravel bashing woodland havoc spectacle. The vodka-guzzling 2007 F1 world champion’s move had long…

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BBC Sports Personality of the Year: British public reiterate they really, really fucking hate F1 – honestly

Semi-detached Barratt home on grey, anonymous, dreary, Mondeo-riddled street where legions and legions of overweight, unimaginative middle-managers live out their flat-screen tv, wireless, smokeless, tasteless, pointless lives with their saggy,…

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Kovalainen two-timing trauma: Whitmarsh looks sheepishly at foot circling floor as Finn told, “we’ve been seeing someone else”

Outside Paragon HQ, locks now changed: dashing munchkin Finn, Heikki Kovalainen has revealed today how his love affair with Mclaren was blown wide open, dashed on the rocks and blown up in his face when he discovered the Woking team had been speaking to other partners behind his back, reports our breaking up correspondent Toulihan O’ Houlihan. (more…)

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Manor Glock signing briefly noticed by media

Press tent, pissing out: the signing of top dashboard-gawper and ex-Toyota pilot, Timo Glock by broadband-powered fizzy pop peddling Branson stalking horse, Manor Grand Prix was reported in the media…

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FIA seeks Flav zombie status clarification for possible defence plea failure sanction extension

The FIA has admitted it will seek clarification on Flavio Briatore’s status as a member of the perpetual undead should the disgraced ex-head of the Renault F1 team fail in his bid to see his motorsport ban lifted in January

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Sand dune, mud dune Yas Marina comparison, last throw of Donington dice

Simon Gillett remained defiant and optimistic - you know, the only 2 emotions he’s actually shown for the last 6 months - about his increasingly laughable hopes to stage the British Grand Prix in 2010, despite having missed his final deadline to raise 500 billion million pounds to flog a dead horse

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“Fernando is…high fiving Flav! Nelsinho actually did it! LOL!!!” Alonso Facebook status Massa anger clue sensation

Cyber-space: the astonishing recent outburst by Ferrari driver and head-injury poster boy, Felipe Massa concerning his 2010 teammate’s involvement in the Crash Gate scandal was sensationally sparked by an errant…

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Mosley Concorde granny flat angers FIA policy overhaul enthusiasts

Fresh from his landslide victory over ex-flying Finn, God-bothering Ari Vatanen in the FIA Presidential elections, top French midget team manager Jean Todt continued to cause consternation amongst F1 fans wanting a fresh start at the institutions’ Concorde HQ by getting the builders in to create an annexe for the ex-President, it has been revealed.

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Ferrari break with past by hiring old Italian driver regularly trounced by multiple World Champion

Ferrari’s hiring of Giancarlo Fisichella for the final 5 races of the 2009 season as a replacement for Luca Badoer finally signalled an end to the embarrassing spectacle of the red cars tooling around at the back of the field piloted by some old Italian driver

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