Ghost of Mussolini, “livid” at Japanese-German collusion

Beyonda da graiyve: Benito Mussolini, the famous dead fascist wartime leader of Italy is said to be, “incandescent with spectral rage” at the slighting of his previous protectorate following the alleged collusion of Toyota and Mclaren against Ferrari at the recent F1 championship finale in Brazil.

The former head of the one-time Axis Power is said to be shaking his ghostly fist and shouting his deceased head off at both countries’ representative car manufacturers for breaking the terms contained within the Tripartite Pact of 1941.

The treaty, co-signed by the alopecia-challenged fascists’ foreign minister, Galeazzo Ciano, set out a number of co-operative principles which included mutual assistance should Germany, Italy or Japan be attacked by a third party.

It is this promise that is said to be giving Il Duce lifeless, sleepless nights as he strides the world of the undead railing against what he perceived in Brazil as an assault against these binding principles.

Il Duce: also criticised Prius and A-Class build quality

“E a’ feels e’ azza been a’ stabbed inna da back”, one long-dead cohort spelt on a Ouija board to our clairvoyant correspondent.

“Ees a betrayal an a bladdy dis grays and Il Duce ees moh uppazet dannenny time I canna remmema,” he co-opted Madam Razzle into writing with an upturned whisky tumbler and some Scrabble tiles.

But snaggle-toothed history expert Simon Schama was quick to dismiss the long departed totalitarian, saying he had misinterpreted the treaty.

Striding across an empty field towards the camera with his hands in his leather jacket, the bygone boffin addressed reporters.

“Whilst it’s true the Tripartite Pact bound the 3 countries together in an act of solidarity, it’s [the pact] main purpose was to warn the United States against joining the war effort on the side of the Allies. There was nothing to prevent each of the separate powers unilaterally taking such actions as might affect one of the other signatories in a negative way”.

“Besides,” the chronicle connoisseur continued, “it’s quite clear from Jarno Trulli’s lap times and the state of the track that the only reason Glock apparently gave up his place was because he was struggling for grip: not because the Japanese and Germans were colluding against the Italians”.

The famously volatile fascist is unlikely to heed the historian’s advice however and was last seen goose stepping furiously through the walls of the old Italian Interior Ministry, angrily opening and shutting cupboard doors whilst inducing mysterious frosty drafts into otherwise warm rooms at the injustice of it all.

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