Force India apologise for competing

Corridor outside Mr Domenicali’s office: Force India today apologized for competing in the F1 Championship this year and promised never to do such a silly, stupid thing again.

The second-hand car dealership owner Mr Vijay Mallya read out a prepared statement, flanked by a very sorry looking team principle, Mike Gascoyne and drivers Giancarlo Fisichella and Adrian Sutil who both seemed thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

“We at Force India would like to wholeheartedly apologise for the current travesty of our competitive entry into the 2008 Formula 1 Championship,” Mr Mallya muttered at the floor.

Vijay Mallya

Force India head attends meeting to apologise for attending meeting

“We are sorry about our slow speed, confusing paint scheme, predictably poor results, mediocre drivers, low-grade dolly birds and the subsequent lack of interest generated in us.

“We wish to collectively express our guilt and shame at being on track at any point where other cars and drivers may come across us and hence be forced to slow down, take avoiding action or – failing that – damage their own cars if they – quite rightly and understandably –inadvertently yet legitimately use our car as a brake.”

In this instance we therefore also wish to apologise to any marshals who may have to pick up bits of broken car strewn about the track thanks to our short-sightedness at having come into existence.”

Shuffling off to the sound of low hissing and multiple finger wagging, Mr Mallya then hurried back to the podium to also apologise about his yacht taking up too much room and – for the Spanish audience – not being white.

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