Pleasance Theatre, Edinburgh: speculation Fernando Alonso’s future employment lies with Honda escalated when it was revealed yesterday that the former double world champion is tired of being thought of as somebody who can only do “serious” driving.
The borderline-deluded Spaniard is said to have become bored with hitting the heights in such dramas as “The Torreador vs. the Iceman” and “Torreador Part 2: The Teutonic” before nearly burning himself out last year in perhaps his greatest dramatic performance as the dark prince in “The Torreador vs. Every-Single-Other-Person-In-the-World-Not-Actually-Spanish”.
It is thought that Alonso fears he cannot ever hope to emulate the powerhouse emotional performance he gave in 2007 whilst the backdrop of his current season at Renault – featuring a succession of faux pas, pratfalls, ineptitude and midfield plodding – has whetted the Spaniard’s appetite for doing a full-blown comedy assault in 2009 with the loveable knockabout Japanese bunglers.
Audience appreciation at 2008 Honda launch
“Fernando feels burnt out doing World Championship dramatics”, said a friend.
“Honda offer him the chance of light entertainment, slapstick and farce. I think it’s very enticing. That and the fucking big cheque”.
The Japanese team ‘s technical director Ross Brawn is thought to be wondering why he gave up fishing to do this rubbish.