Unanticipated Uniqlo Invoice, “pushed Super Aguri to the brink”

Peckham High Street Cash Converters: Cash-strapped Yen-less Team Honda hand-me-down humiliater, Super Aguri today admitted how close they had come to hari-kiri once key creditors began demanding unpaid bills be settled in the latest drama to banzai the Japanese minnows.

After a series of close calls with suppliers such as Lidl’s, Primark & Ratners the team’s finances were tested to their very last yen following one too many Uniqlo bounced cheques.

“It was certainly touch and go”, Wagamama Kawasaki 750, the team’s finance director admitted shortly before publicly disembowelling himself with a jewel-encrusted ceremonial sword in front of fellow board members.

Super Aguri: Completely fucking skint

“Our payment terms should have been clear: we had 30 days to pay any outstanding balance on our embroidered team shirts, hats and polyester action slacks yet they [Uniqlo] decided to cash the cheque a week early.

“Having only just settled an outstanding 48 quid Ryanair bill the inevitable happened and I’ve been forced to slot myself with this big sword – I’m absolutely gutted”, he added just before massive haemorrhaging caused him to pass out in a pool of his own intestines.

Super Aguri are still hopeful to be on the grid at Melbourne this week though they admit most of the crew will have to wear last year’s team clothes having eaten nothing since February assuming the ferry they’ve stowed away on gets them there on time and doesn’t capsize.

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