F1 cost cutting meeting to focus on cutting cost from cost cutting meetings

F1 teams have vowed to rethink their profligate attitudes and reduce spending dramatically on future gatherings dealing with how the teams should reduce spending, in between moments when they were jetting off to other meetings to discuss lowering spending on other stuff.

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Health fears for blue flag marshals

F1 Medical Car: A top cardiovascular specialist has warned that Honda’s pull-out has created a potential health time bomb not foreseen by the Japanese company and has urged officials to…

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“Power of dreams” investment vindicated by multiple world championship hallucination

Tokyo: Despite their F1 team not technically existing any more, boardroom honchos from Honda were last night celebrating umpteen consecutive imaginary double world championships thanks to the massive funding of…

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Ghost of Mussolini, “livid” at Japanese-German collusion

Benito Mussolini, the famous dead fascist wartime leader of Italy is said to be, “incandescent with spectral rage” at the slighting of his previous protectorate following the alleged collusion of Toyota and Mclaren against Ferrari at the recent F1 championship finale in Brazil.

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Massa-Hamilton playground spat escalates: “my dad can beat up your dad”, claims Brazilian ace

The already simmering tension between championship hopefuls Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa has reached boiling point following their controversial coming together in Japan with the latter suggesting that a punch up between the respective male parents would inevitably result in humiliating defeat for Hamilton senior.

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Driver poll

“What would you have done in the Spa chicane mix-up?” • Overtaken but driven around one-handed to negate advantage 5% • Given the corner back then not overtaken anyone till…

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Raikkonen concentrated “100%” on winning that DHL Fastest Lap prize thing

Bow Bells: Kimi Raikkonen’s manager Steve Robertson last night praised the outgoing World Champion’s 2008 season, hailing it as “mission accomplished” following the Finn’s crowning with the most number of meaningless fastest laps trophy by some parcel delivery service or something. (more…)

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Monza podium record confirmation: youngest ever champagne-induced celebratory flatulence

Oirland: Guinness, the famous stout brewer and publisher of human and animal freakery for the benefit of voyeuristic dullards everywhere yesterday confirmed the world record youngest ever cloud of noxious bum gas from assembled drivers atop the Italian GP podium. (more…)

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Hamilton calamity betting latest: celestial contretemps is pole-position for Silverstone

Ladbrokes: Yet more off-track kafuffles involving Britain’s for-the-time-being favourite F1 driver, Lewis Hamilton have resulted in a rush of betting prior to July’s British Grand Prix. But unlike most sporting…

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