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  • fernando alonso beard mclaren honda

    Mclaren beard maintenance final F1 career challenge, insists Alonso

    Maintaining a beard for an entire season at Mclaren is Fernando Alonso’s final and most important motorsports challenge, their newest recruit has insisted. Sporting the full on D’Artagnan or, “semi-Roy Keane“, the 34 year old made the defiant statement in the very nexus of his new team’s anti-hirsute battle station; the Mclaren Technology Centre. “Some

  • jenson button ron dennis mclaren

    Button, Dennis cuckold bombshell

    The reason Ron Dennis divorced his wife over 5 years ago was because he caught Jenson Button sleeping with her. Well he must have done otherwise why is the 34 year old from Frome being treated like this? everyone has concluded. F1 observer Chris Textures observed, “Jenson is widely regarded as the perfect F1 gent;

  • double points like south african grand

    FIA declare Double Points like when they used to race in South Africa

    The FIA have decided double points will be like when everyone happily raced in Apartheid South Africa for years but that’s like, in the past and stuff. Officially ditching the wildly unpopular initiative at the World Motorsport Council meeting was considered marginally more feasible than investigating whether Jean Todt and a few officials could get

  • sebastian vettel Ferrari F2012

    Vettel hands back 2012 title

    After driving the 2012 F1 Ferrari, Sebastian Vettel has handed back his World Driver’s title for that season. The apparently legitimate 4-time driver’s champion made the donation after undergoing his first ever Ferrari test in the car in which Fernando Alonso ran him close and which turned out to be utter dogshit. Said the 27 year

  • Carlos Sainz, Carlos Sainz Jnr

    Toro Rosso basically just wanting to hang out with Carlos Sainz at weekends

    Toro Rosso have hired Carlos Sainz jnr so they get to hang out with his cool dad. The Tesco Value Red Bull team announced the appointment alongside their new recruit whilst casting longing glances at his double World Rally champion father, busy signing autographs at the side of the room. Said team head and all

  • marco mattiacci fired

    Mattiacci regrets not having long enough to fuck Ferrari up properly

    Newest sacked Ferrari boss Marco Mattiacci regrets not being given long enough to properly fuck up the Italian F1 concern. The 43 year old only had 7 months at the famous constructor which was barely enough time to order 1,000s of Euros of mis-spelt stationary, re-paint the factory blue and issue instructions that all the

  • nico rosberg double points

    Does this Double Cheeseburger count as well, asks Rosberg?

    Nico Rosberg is desperately hoping the double cheeseburger he just consumed means he now gets *4* times as many points in the season closing Abu Dhabi race. Or he is going to have to do a really big poo. Said the half German, half Finnish, 100% blonde bombshell, “double points makes no sense to me