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  • F1 - 2014 - Ferrari F14T

    Shitty things about this Ferrari obscuring shittest thing, say team

    So many things are wrong with the F14T, Ferrari can’t tell what the worst thing is. The Maranello squad admitted they’ve thrown in the towel trying to figure out what to fix first what with the whole car seeming to be pretty equally piss poor. New boss Mario Mattiachi admitted, “Ferrari has prided itself on

  • Mclaren have accidentally landed Marc Marquez for the 2015 F1 season.

    Mclaren accidentally sign Marc Marquez

    Mclaren have accidentally landed Marc Marquez for the 2015 F1 season. The Woking concern revealed they hired the 21 year old Moto GP sensation following its superstar blunderbuss recruitment strategy. Returning chairman Ron Dennis droned on, “despite what it might look like, Mclaren are committed to excellence in every area.” All I said was, “I’ve

  • F1 2014 andre lotterer caterham

    Lotterer revives 30-something male pipe dream

    Men in their mid to late 30’s have been allowed once again to imagine it’s somehow not too late to get to F1. The mildly obese male singleton Top Gear fan demographic was thrown the illusory bone by Caterham’s unexpected hiring of 32 year old ‘veteran’ Andre Lotterer at the recent Belgian Grand Prix. Demographic-matching

  • F1 2014 daniel ricciardo belgian grand prix

    Ricciardo won some races, apparently

    Some of the 2014 F1 races have been won by Daniel Ricciardo in a Red Bull, it’s been revealed. The 25 year old Antipodean crossed the finish line before anyone else in up to 3 of this season’s races without anybody noticing; despite having so many teeth he can veer ships onto the rocks by

  • F1 - 2014 - Kimi-Raikkonen-Fernando-Alonso-F14-T

    Ferrari to outsource future mud slinging

    The Scuderia Ferrari team are to outsource all future blame, counter-blame and public blood-letting roles to a third party, from 2015. The Italian F1 shambles are once again enjoying a season of technical department ructions, trigger-happy sackings, driver insecurity, passive-aggressive public finger-pointing and abject failure. The internal turmoil admin has finally become too much for the famous

  • F1 - 2014 - mclaren

    Mclaren PR department annoyed actual racing re-starting

    The Mclaren team are coming to terms with a return to racing and the end of yet another successful August break campaign of fluff and media bullshit. The Woking outfit once again showed their unbeatable prowess at filling the mid-season lull with tweets, PR froth and non-stories designed to remind F1 fans of their history,

  • F1 - 2014 - vettel titles downgraded

    Vettel titles downgraded to junk status

    Credit rating agency Standard and Poor’s have downgraded Sebastian Vettel’s world titles to ‘junk’ status. The high finance twats announced the re-assessment following the German’s latest, ongoing humbling at the hands of his pantomime horse team-mate, Daniel Ricciardo. Chief Analyst, Hector Vector explained, “there was always some doubt underlying the intrinsic value of these assets